The Immortality Drug
by IJeanette
Summary: This is a play (no stage directions, though) about what I think would happen if Sherlock and John were the Doctor's companions. Please review if you have something to say about it - I like hearing from you.


**Doctor:** Well, hello, there, Mr. Holmes. It's been a long time.

**Sherlock:** It has indeed.

**Doctor:** Last I heard, you jumped off a building.

**Sherlock:** It saddens me to hear that you missed it, it was rather thrilling I can assure you.

**Doctor:** Well. Maybe I can take you there. Step into this box with me.

**Sherlock:** It would be my pleasure, Doctor.

**Doctor:** Where would you like to go?

**Sherlock:** All of time and space right before me? How can I possibly choose? Take me somewhere that won't be filled with idiots.

**Doctor:** Very well. I shall take you to Planet Kolob. Perhaps God wants to pick your brains.

**Sherlock:** Well, it sounds better than having to deal with the morons down at the MET. However, I ask one thing of you. May I bring a companion?

**Doctor:** Of course. Does he come from your time, or has he... since departed?

**Sherlock:** He comes from my time, and I hope he won't depart for many more years.

**Doctor:** Where is he?

**Sherlock:** You'll find him at St Bartholomew's Hospital

**Doctor:** Don't tell me you've actually started to care about someone... what's his name?

**Sherlock:** John Hamish Watson

**Doctor:** I think the TARDIS can easily get hold of him for you. Hold on a moment... (pause) ...and here he is.

**John:** Sherlock? What? Where... where have you been?

**Sherlock:** Hello, John. My good friend here is willing to take us on an adventure. Does that sound exciting?

**John:** Sherlock, it's not funny. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

**Sherlock:** Protecting you, John. Someone had to take down Moriarty's web, after all.

**John:** But... how did you survive?

**Sherlock:** The small details are irrelevant. Let's just say, I had a lot of people on my side.

**John:** Molly? Mycroft? And who's this?

**Doctor:** I'm the Doctor.

**Sherlock:** Molly. Mycroft. The entirety of the homeless network. And yes, to a certain extent, the Doctor.

**John:** Who _are_ you, exactly?

**Doctor:** I'm a Lord of Time. I can take you to the ends of the universe and to the births of stars. Are you coming?

**John:** ...Sherlock, do you trust this guy?

**Sherlock:** Of course.

**John:** ...Fine. I'm coming.

**Doctor:** Where first?

**John:** "The future!"

**Doctor:** When? Where? Anytime. Anyplace. In this box.

**John:** "Hmmm... somewhere awesome, 1,000 years into the future!"

**Doctor:** I'll take you to the re-election of President Obama. The 250th re-election. On Mars.

**John:** "W...what?! How can a president be re-elected 250 TIMES?!"

**Doctor:** Two years from now, they'll come up with an immortality drug. As long as you keep taking one pill a day, you'll never die. It's immortality that wears off, but you can switch it on again. Interesting, wouldn't you say?

**John:** "You mean...there'll be US?! In 1,000 years time too?"

**Doctor:** ...yes… No, sorry. I lied a bit there... you're not on Mars. You're part of the Sedna Colonies.

**Sherlock:** So far from home - and yet so close.

**John:** Sherlock, please tell me this man is crazy.

**Sherlock:** He's not.

**Doctor:** I know ALL of time and space like the back of my hand, now let's GO! Come on, Sexy!

**John:** Who's he talking to, Sherlock?

**Doctor:** The box. There's... how do I explain it? A person... Yes, there's a person's mind in the box. I met her once. She bit me.

**John:** "A person...wow. I have to admit, this is starting to get interesting."

**Doctor:** Wait a minute... something's not right. *opens TARDIS doors*... this isn't Sedna... it's Earth. And it's on fire...

**Sherlock:** Doctor, are you sure the TARDIS hasn't started malfunctioning?

**Doctor:** It's only Sexy. Sometimes she gets a little temperamental.

**Sherlock:** ...All right then, are you sure 'Sexy' hasn't started malfunctioning?

**TARDIS:** I have _not_! *suddenly appears* I'm taking you to Earth, Doctor. We need to stop this immortality drug.

**John/Sherlock:** Molly?!

**John:** _Molly_ is the person in the box?

**Doctor:** Well...I assume that's the name she goes by when interacting with _you_ lot, but it's always been Sexy to me!

**John:** Stop the immortality drug? Deary me, what's going wrong?

**TARDIS:** Why do we need to stop an immortality drug? Well, let's think... if there is no death, then the universe will keep on getting more and more overpopulated. And if that happens, you have chaos. And that is why the Earth is on fire.


End file.
